Recurring dream...(Pt 3)

This weekend gone, the dream changed... The music changed. The man's hands have changed (gotten older, as mine have) and the music has gotten better and more soul-fulling...beautiful. But the music builds to a crescendo. I wake (still never having seen the pianist's face...) in anticipation and slight anxiety. I awake also to a slight headache and nausea. I get worse as the day goes on and I battle a migraine for 2 days.

I spoke to my mother about the change to the music in the dream - she is one of few who know of it. She is convinced that when the music is complete, I will die. I cannot think of a better way to go - to float off on the last note of that (in the dream) familiar and beautiful piece of artistry that I am blessed to hear so often. I also know that if I ever hear that piece in this world, I will know it immediately. I wonder why I am prevented from the seeing the pianist - I know him in the dream, and my smile when I look up is of thanks - and at that moment I awake.

Whenever I hear a piano played - to this day - with skill and passion, I feel grief, I feel utter joy, I feel pain, I feel loss, I feel absolutely complete.

I suppose I always will.