empowered....

......naughty of me, certainly, to find such glee in the turmoil....

When the storm came last Monday I felt completely energised. Yes - it was cold, windy, wet - and utterly invigorating! I indulged my desire to expose myself to the elements, out there on the shore of the little bay I spy daily from my bedroom window. I stood arms akimber - facing the gusts and gales of wind and rain that hammered and battered at me - and felt the power of the unseen. (but not unfelt...) A stray seagull flew over me and gave me a "look" - akin, I am sure, to those of the people in the house in front who were no doubt tempted to "ring for assistance". If, that is, the phones had been working. They weren't.

When my teeth ceased chattering upon themselves and I began to feel warm, I retired inside again - unwilling, but clearly at risk of hypothermia. After thawing slowly I discovered via my trusty computer that the power was - and had been - out to the entirety of the city south of the harbour bridge for most of the day. A "weather bomb" over the country, they called it. What a heinously ethno/egocentric description....!

But - I was thrilled! A demonstration of the awesome power of nature that we face, and a direct in-yer-face experience of what we may live with in the near future should we continue along our merry human path of destruction of the earth's natural resources. A thrill of fear - and a sense of environmental justice - enveloped me.

I wonder - am I going quite mad? I know I am occasionally completely pissed at the world of human beings, and find a good deal of frustration at the lack of an outlet for my inner fury. I often rage at myself on behalf of myself....so yes, perhaps I am going insane. I ache for a ward of the insane, a town of the insane, where I may finally feel at home with.

At the moment - in my darkest AND lightest moments - I feel at home in the wind, the rain, the storm, the darkness - and in the rising of the sun. I embrace the homeliness of my insanity as close as I dare....